Moving through the eye of the proverbial needle is painful while in the process, but liberating when you get to the other side. The thing is, you don't always know you are going through that eye; you just know that you feel uncomfortable, confused and slightly unhappy. Early this year I committed to reviewing my focus and direction as I felt I was coming up on an important birthday milestone, one that signals "This is it! it's time to make absolutely sure you are doing the work you want to do." Little did I know that it would take a good 5 months for some clarity. Even more surprising was the discovery that when I was sure I had it, I didn't, and that was just 3 weeks ago.
What finally moved me through the eye? Illness! I took my first trip to a European country (can you say late bloomer?) a couple of weeks ago and came home with salmonella poisoning. With a history of Crohn's Disease, this was not just an uncomfortable, painful 7 days, but a reminder of what I had lived through for 14 years of my life (from 1992 to 2006).
Before the trip and before the food poisoning, I was sure I had chosen my focus and target audience. But being ill reminded me of what my greatest passion is, a passion that comes through the lens of living and working and being a mom and a wife (and sometimes not-wife) while dealing with a really difficult health challenge.
On the first day of my return to wellness, in a conversation with a friend, I realized I did NOT want to help people grow their businesses. I want to help people in business be themselves, to live and express their passion, and to experience the freedom of doing so. Interestingly enough, I will still work with people in business, and there is a good chance their businesses will grow (a happy side effect), but that is not my gift or passion.
In an email exchange with a friend this week, when I shared this with her she was curious. She, too, is exploring the question, "what am I here to do?" When in the question there is an inherent pressure for the answer. It IS uncomfortable to stay in the question. The pressure to "know" is strong. However, now that I have moved through this particular eye, I say to all you explorers, wait! You will hear the call when you hear it.