Your Life Matters - an Ode to a Friend

A few days ago a good friend passed, having succumbed to cervical cancer. I last saw her about 2 years ago shortly after she'd just finished chemo treatments. Last time I talked to her, which was about a year ago, she was in remission and feeling healthy and hopeful. It didn't ever occur to me that she might relapse, so when I noticed a post about her on Facebook about her passing the night before, I was shocked.

I'd been thinking about her quite a bit this past month, but hadn't picked up the phone. I didn't know, I just didn't know. This is what saddens me the most. Her birthday is in a few days. That's probably when I would have reached out to her. I could be upset that she didn't let me know, but I can't be. Whenever she realized she was dying, her priority would have been her husband and children. That's who she was. It is the world's loss, it is my loss, but in the big picture, it is their loss. She would have wanted to tend to them.

Her Life Mattered

Clara was a fierce friend and a force to be reckoned with. I also knew her tentativeness. For several years she struggled to find her next project, something she could sink her teeth into, that would express her gifts and make a difference for others. As I look back over our conversations, and my experience of her, I can see now that she was her purpose. Whatever and whomever she was interested in, she was passionate about.

As I sit here today, reflecting on how scared - and pissed - she might have been about her fate, I remember our times together. I also have to remember that as much as she meant to me, I meant to her. And this is the point, dear ones. Our frickin' lives matter!

  • It doesn't matter if you are healthy or well.
  • It doesn't matter if you have the right clothing, or car or house, or whatever.
  • It doesn't matter if your business is thriving or you're just treading water at the moment.
  • It doesn't even matter if you struggle to "find" your purpose. You ARE your purpose.

Your Life Matters

Your existence on this planet is all you need to know. You're here. You matter. Nothing to prove.

To close, I share this link to a video from a workshop she participated in with other "Cervivors" at Cervivor school in South Carolina, an advocacy and support organization for women diagnosed with cervical cancer of the HPV virus. You'll hear and see my friend start to speak about 1 minute and 13 seconds in.